colemanmomsandbabes.blogspot.com

*The following information was taken from the blogspot colemanmomsandbabes

SUNDAY, MAY 25, 2008

INDIANA CONFIDENTIAL INTERMEDIARIES

Like Illinois, Indiana's confidential intermediary has been rife with corruption and down outright theft. I had recently spoken with a member of Indiana Open. She is having a bad experience with an Indiana CI. That CI's name is **** *****. This member doesn't know if this woman is speaking the truth. She wonders if she is just trying to get more money from the member. Alas, this is a major issue with confidential intermediaries. My experience has been just as bad with ******* ********. I honestly believe that all of my information is a lie. ******* ******** lied to me on several occasions that I can't determine the truth of my own situation. ******* ******** told me that she was the only CI or ASS as she calls herself that I could use. ASS stands for Adoption Search Specialist. She also told me that she could not contact my father because the law didn't allow her to. That fathers can't register on the Adoption History registry. I have read over the law as written into Indiana code. I have also read the law as it is written into the Department of Health Vital Statistics' handbook. There is no restriction on which CI that you use. There is nothing in the law that prohibits contact with the fathers. The law states "birth" parent, not "birth"mother. Lets also discuss that some of the CIs have a conflict of interest in helping the adoptees and their families. ******* ******** is an adoptive parent and the former agency director of Coleman Adoption Services. **** ***** has also worked for Catholic Charities. These are major conflict of interests. These folks do not have our best interests at heart. They have their financial budgets and their personal interests at heart. This can affect the conversaton with our family members. In January of 2006, I began my search. Before I paid my fee, I asked if my natural mother would have the support needed with dealing with contact. I had spoken with only a few mothers at that time. I wanted to make sure that she would have support if she needed it. I have since learned that the agency is most definitely not the best way to offer support. Knowing what I know now, I would recommend contacting members of Concerned United Birthparents, OriginsUSA, members of the Baby Scoop Era mothers, and First Mothers Connect to get the support that your natural parents might need. These are people who have walked a mile in their shoes. They completely understand what our mothers have felt. I know with both Indiana Open, Coleman Moms and Babes and other organizations that we have support for those mothers. If you are a natural parent searching for your child, join Bastard Nation, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, and others to get the support needed for your adopted child. I paid my fee. I waited for a day or two until ******* called me. She told me that my natural mother refused contact. I was getting ready to go behind the fence of Vernon's state hospital, a place for the criminally insane. I was not in the best of places to take that call. I spent the rest of the day crying. The next week my natural mother supposedly called back wanting to know how to keep all of this private. She supposedly wanted to be assured that I would not show up on her door step after hiring a private investigator. I had called ******* a couple of other times after that. I was summarily dismissed. In that time, I have heard from countless other Coleman adoptees and Indiana adoptees who have been screwed over by this woman. After speaking with the daughter of a mother who was at the home the day before I was born, I realized that most if not all of my information is a lie. I have heard repetitively that Indiana is known for changing birth dates, for not having the correct information, and for incest. So if you are coming into the search portion, you need to be aware of these things. CIs in Indiana answer to no one. They don't answer to the courts. They can and sometimes will take you for a ride. They can and will sometimes lie to you about your information. So be aware very aware. Speak with other adoptees and who they have used. I have spoken with another CI who said that Indiana has had it share of corruption and theft with CIs. She also told me that most other CIs don't like Coleman adoptees. My advice to all is if you can afford Kinsolving.com, use them. It puts the ball in your court. It allows you to be treated like the adult that you are.

TogetherWeMend (Yahoo Group Post)

TWM is a port in the storm to those affected by adoption. It is a search and support group that is open to all members of the triad and believes that everyone deserves to know their heritage.

This group is dedicated to my son whom I was reunited with in 01` and since have become wonderful friends.

Somewhere out there is the link to your past. Join as many groups as you can and post your search  everywhere. If you can afford a professional searcher, Chris Lee of Kinsolving is excellent.

Dr. Phil's Messageboard

rbangerter User Mood Happy Message Emote

May 10, 2006, 4:26 pm PDT Searching for Birth Parents Quote From: pamela990 I found my family through Kinsolving Investigations.  They have a website called kinsolving.com.  They did not charge anything until they found my family.  I had virtually nothing other than a birth cert with my mother's name on it and they found her and two brothers.  It has turned out so well for me.  I think they do an amazing job.

rbangerter User Mood Happy Message Emote rbangerter User Mood Happy Message Emote April 29, 2006, 8:21 am PDT My experience Quote From: staciesmom I am almost 40 years old. I had contacted my birth mother about 5 years ago. She kept in contact for about a year then stopped returning my letters. She told me I was born out of "what sounds like date rape?" I am not sure. She is married with two children who in their 20's.  Her husband did not want my birth mother to tell them about me. I also think he is the reason she ended our contact. BTW,  they have lived only about 5 miles from where I grew up this whole time! My situation is that I have found my two birth siblings on Myspace.com.  Their lives seem so interesting.  Everybody whom I talk to tells me that I should contact them. Even though this is against my birth mothers and her husbands wishes? And even though my birth mother doesnt want to have anything to do with me. Do they have a right to know about me? I am not doing this out of spite. I think in a way, I have children of my own.  My 1/2 brother is totally into music, and so is my son. They seem to have a lot in common.  I would totally contact my siblings.   I just recently found my birth family and I actually chose to contact a sibling first.  It has gone great and he has been a bridge to my birth mother.  She had not told her other children about me (We are all over 30).   There are 4 of us.  One from a rape when she was 14 and then 3 others.  She raised 2 of them.   I think she has a lot of pride and is embarrassed that this has come out.  I have to say that I am so happy to have contacted my brother.  He was shocked of course but now we are sharing all kinds of information.  We are both sensistive to his mother.  I say that because no matter what happens with my birth mother, the mother that raised me is my mom.  I kind of have to define a role for my birth mother if she chooses to have a relationship.  I am prepared to deal with the fact that she may not.  You may have neices and nephews, cousins, etc that want to know you and you have a right to know who you are.  The more you learn about them, the more you will know yourself.  Be kind but do not miss an opportunity to know a sibling.

April 29, 2006, 8:24 am PDT Recommendation Quote From: luverth I am 33 and have always wanted to find my birth mother.  I am from Arizona and my records are sealed I guess.  I really wish I knew of some way to try to get her name and locate her. It has been a haunting factor in my entire life. If anyone has any information on ways to locate her and get her name. Someone on here recommended Kinsolving Investigations to me.  I had almost no paper trail and they found my family.  I spent 20 yrs looking on my own.  You will have to spend a couple thousand bucks but for me it was worth it.   It took them 3 months with me.  You may want to try them.  www.kinsolving.com.  Good Luck

Mother Like Daughter - Happy Reunion 2009!

Mother's Day first

By David Wilcox / The Citizen

Saturday, May 9, 2009 11:53 PM EDT

AUBURN - This Mother's Day will mark the first that Linda Townsend spends with her 39-year-old daughter.

Photo provided
After years of searching and frustration, Marne D'Augustino and her mother, Linda Townsend, were reunited.

About two weeks after Townsend gave birth to Marne D'Augustino on April 25, 1970, she surrendered her newborn daughter for adoption. The choice was made for her, said Townsend, who was 26 at the time. In the absence of the child's father, Townsend's own father acted to follow social norms and to spare his family embarrassment, she said. Giving up his grandchild was not a concern.

Though Townsend acquiesced to avoid the misery she saw coming were she to defy her father, the decision to surrender her child - whom she named Julianna - caused her suffering anyway.

“It was very surreal for a while afterward. There was a lot of crying and I didn't know how I should feel,” Townsend said. “I just knew that part of me was gone.”

Every April 25 brought with it heightened heartache for Townsend. Her anxiety over surrendering her child was amplified a few years afterward, when Townsend was diagnosed with uterine cancer and administered a hysterectomy.

“I knew keeping her would be a mistake, but I was concerned that giving her up would be a worse one,” Townsend said.

Meanwhile, Julianna was growing up in the Rochester suburb of Greece. Her adoptive parents gave her the name Marnell, which combines the initials of her grandparents.

D'Augustino learned she was adopted when she was 8 years old. A decade later, she took advantage of her legal right to search for her birth mother by registering with the state's adoption services. Years of pursuing the state's channels for investigation proved fruitless, and D'Augustino learned little more than Townsend's age at the time of the birth.

Witnessing the efforts of fellow adoptees to track down their birth parents refined D'Augustino's expectations for her own reunion.

“In a way, I'm glad it took as long as it did,” D'Augustino said. “It was a great outlet for me to learn what to expect and I'm glad I had that time to prepare myself for the reunion.”

The search yielded success once D'Augustino discovered Kinsolving Investigations, a private service that specializes in reuniting family members divided by adoption. She filled out her contract requesting the firm's help on a Monday in May 2008 and was notified that it had found Townsend the following Wednesday.

But before D'Augustino made contact, she solicited Kinsolving's advice about doing so. She sought answers about her lineage, her grandparents and the name she was given at birth. Though realistic enough not to expect the instant forging of a mother-daughter bond, D'Augustino had hoped for “some kind of relationship,” she said.

She added, “It's a huge emotion - you're putting everything right on the line and it could be dashed in one phone call, or you could get your dream and be reunited.”

After a few days of meditating on the possibilities, D'Augustino called her mother. Townsend picked up the phone to hear the voice on the other end request that they discuss a personal matter. Led to believe she was being pestered by a telemarketer, Townsend became dismissive. Then D'Augustino told Townsend the day she was born. She listened to her mother gasp, then weep.

“I said, ‘Oh my God, you're my daughter,'” Townsend said.

Over the next hour, Townsend learned about her daughter's childhood, that she married her high school sweetheart, Jeff D'Augustino, and that she gave Townsend an 8-year-old granddaughter, Angelina.

The reunited pair arranged their first meeting, in Auburn, shortly after Mother's Day last year.

“As soon as I opened the door and looked in her face, there was no doubt in my mind that she was my daughter,” Townsend said.

D'Augustino had compiled a scrapbook of her life for Townsend, and Jeff found his own gift in going to Auburn's Bass Pro Shops. On subsequent visits to Auburn, the couple was accompanied by Angelina, who coaxed her new nana into the Holiday Inn pool. Townsend, in turn, taught her granddaughter to curtsy to the “king” at a gathering of the Society for Creative Anachronism, a historical reenactment group to which Townsend belongs.

Over the past year, Townsend has communicated with D'Augustino often and seen her every couple months. No matter the closeness of her relationship with her daughter, Townsend feels her most dire need has been met.

“I can truly die a happy woman because I know my daughter's OK,” Townsend said.

Since her second e-mail to Townsend, D'Augustino has felt comfortable calling her ‘Mom.' She draws inspiration from her successful reunion as she assists fellow adoptees in New York state search for their birth parents.

“I'm very blessed,” D'Augustino said. “I keep looking forward to building a relationship with my mom.”

There are 4 comment(s)

Kinsolving wrote on Sep 9, 2009 1:54 PM:

" We are very pleased that Marne and Linda were reunited. Long over due that is for sure. Searching is very rewarding especially when there is a happy outcome. Kinsolving Investigations is located in Charlotte, NC. If anyone wants to know more about us they are welcome to visit our website at http://www.kinsolving.com "

t.j.franklin@hotmail.com wrote on May 11, 2009 6:40 AM:

" As a fellow Adoptee, stories like this give me the hope that one day I too will find by biological relatives. 
It is my hope that one day New York State passes legislation making it law that adoptions are open. It is very hard to find answers when adoption records are sealed. "

jssk61806 wrote on May 10, 2009 11:01 PM:

" Linda, this is such great news!!! We are SOOO happy, for you & your daughter! I cant imagine how both of your hearts must feel. Take care, and we're thinking of you. *Jenn & Sharon*....Married by you, on Sept 13th, 2008 ! "

anonymous wrote on May 10, 2009 11:34 AM:

" Good for you, Linda. "

Ancestry.com Archive

joseph daquila Posted on: 28 Jul 2000, by Jean Matthews   Surnames > Daquila ...my birth mother this past may and it has been an amazing experience. I recommend using Chris lee at Kinsolving Investigations. She found my birth mom in two weeks and I had searched for 12 years! Visit their we...

Joseph Posted on: 22 Aug 2000, by Jean   Surnames > Daquila Mary Ann- Did you contact kinsolving investigations? I know she would be able to help you. What adoption agency did your husband come from? Since I went thru the whole search process to find my birth mother,...

ARCHIVED POST - Adoption.com

06-18-2008, 08:28 AM

cpacfa  Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 18  Total Points: 977.10 Donate

Reply to using Kinsolving I used Kinsolving in 2005. I have nothing but the best things to say about them. They are expensive but guarantee their service. I engaged them to do a search in Canada for me and they located my birthmother in less than a week.  Just to complete the story I reunited and all has been great. Quite an amazing story but that is perhaps for another post. Kinsolving is first rate and you get what you pay for.

ARCHIVED POST - Adoption.com

03-02-2005, 05:05 AM

mn125  angry adoptee Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 234  Total Points: 2,099.29 Donate

I used Kinsolving- and have nothing BUT great praise for them!! I was VERY VERY pleased with the outcome. __________________ adoptee reunited WITHOUT state, court, judge, agency, or amom approval. Woohoo!  I have my OBC!! pfffffffft!  I missed her, I missed my siblings, I missed the connection, the identity, the ethnic background, the medical history..... I lost something very important in my life for 40 plus years. I am thankful to finally have all that back

Archived Post - Adoption.com

#3    03-11-2002, 10:14 PM

Archive  Archived Posts Join Date: Jan 1999 Posts: 153,644  Total Points: 0 Donate

I used Kinsolving twice.......worked out well Originally Posted By Heather Gill-Wasp I used Kinsolving twice, first to find birthmom and then to find birthdad. Chris Lee is a birthmom who reunited with her birth daughter and I found her to be very helpful and supportive during my reunion process. I have referred serveral other people to her and they also were pleased with the results of their search. I placed my son for adoption in 1987 and when he becomes 18 I will use her again to look for him. Just my two cents worth! Heather Gill-Wasp Reunited Adoptee 2/14/1998 Still Searching for birthson born 1/28/1987 __________________ Please feel free to reply to this Archived post. Please note that there may not be a way to contact the author of this post unless they left contact information.

When a Rose is Just a Rose!

Nice to visit the old crypt after all these months. Notice a few cobwebs here and there but thankfully no hidden bodies. Reminds me that we need to hire a new cleaning service and keep a good bail bondsman on speed dial just in case. Wondering where we have been all this time? Well I am sure you have as anyone reading this must have had very little social activity and been waiting eagerly with baited breath for the next story. This one is called When a Rose is Just a Rose! A great deal of adoptees fantasize that their "real" mother or birth mother or natural mother, bio mom is more than human. She takes on a mystique that eventually if located would make the reality pale in comparison. Perhaps one thinks they were conceived while their parent was escaping a South American overthrow or was fleeing the revolution in Russia or maybe they are the long lost offspring of Colonel Sanders. Who knows? Well I guess that inheiritance would be finger licking good, no? Our story about Rose (not her real name) originates in the ficticious city of Chicago in the state of "Illinois". Story has it that Rose was a good catholic girl who had been born and reared in a midwest state but not Illinois. She was supposedly a nurse in her early 30's and never married. A post WW2 romance with a lover who was married or had married culminated in an unplanned pregnancy leaving Rose without a husband. Arrangements were made by a priest to send her to a maternity home in Chicago through Catholic Charities. It's really unclear whether Rose ever went to the home or her stay was short lived as she was eventually placed with a private family and called "Rose Bush". The identity of the birthfather was never shared with the agency who knew very little about her and unfortunately their own records through the years have either been purged, diminished, burnt, flooded, discarded or just plain thrown out. There exists no file on Rose Bush or her daughter. Except for the file on the adoptive family which lists a paragraph or two on the bio mother. ONE small clue that Rose's father had been killed in an accident when she was 10 years old. Last but not least the original birth certificate which lists Catholic Charities as Rose's legal address also gave the place of birth for Rose which was a very small city in another midwestern state. Next checking the 1920 and 1930 census for the United States inparticular her state of birth and Illinois (Chicago too) turned up no appropriate Rose Bush or any connection with a Bush that would have led us to believe this was her real name. We did however notice the county of Rose's birth was Bushman County - coincedence? Going to her city of birth - Lupners Corners we located the small catholic parish which originated as a mission and combing baptisms for Rose's 1913-1918 turned up only two. One for a Rose Dickinson whose parents died when she was in her 50's and a Rose Helen Lattimore. Rose Lattimore had 5 other siblings baptized at the same parish. On the 1930 US census her mother was listed as a widow. Revisiting the catholic church once more unearthed a record of death for Rose's father James Lattimore who died when she was exactly 10 years old and that he had been killed in an accident while at work. Checking further records located a death for her mother in 1975 and those for siblings. It was later determined that Rose had never married and had lived in Chicago for years as a nurse and was now retired in Texas at the age of 94! Once her daughter received the completed information on her case she made telephone contact shortly thereafter and was received warmly with open arms by the mother she had never known. It turns out that she had a love affair with her daughter's father but he was married and she appeared to still be in love with him and speak fondly of him. He was unfortunately killed many years ago. She hopes to meet her birthmother soon.

Florence Crittenton was not a BIRTHMOTHER!

Many people have heard the name Florence Crittenton. They tend to sometimes confuse her with Florence Nightengale or perhaps think she had some association with the Salvation Army. In reality Charles Nelson Crittenton was an American Philanthropist who was involved with pharmaceuticals. When his FIVE year old daughter Florence died in 1882 he devoted his time to the founding of a home for young women in distress. Clearly Florence did not die in childbirth at age 5. So this was the beginning of what turned into a network of Florence Crittenton Homes throughout the United States. Primarily from the 1930's through the 1970's these homes thrived and were overflowing with girls from all ages, pre-teen to pre-menopausal. In the early years and the not so early years many births were onsite. Due to health ordinances and litigations births were eventually at local area hospitals. Most girls or women in the Florence Crittenton Home were simply known by their first name or a house name. They had chores, school time, club association, exercise and so on. In some communities they were allowed to venture out every so often in public and were given wedding rings to wear so that the public would not question their status. Oddly enough many of these home were in old mansions and somewhat secluded. When questioned years later in many localities residents were totally unaware that the OLD HOME off the lane was a maternity shelter for unwed mothers. Throughtout the 30-40-50-60's most children were placed for adoption. Many women used an alias at the home and perhaps the hospital with some localities carrying this practise over even to the official birth certificate. However by the onset of the 1970's with the stigma of illegitimacy gone and legalized abortion available the needs and functions of these homes shifted to goal orientation for education and developmental placement for young women and helping them adjust to their new role in single parenthood.