Driving Miss Daisy or searching for her?

Interesting search we completed years ago comes to mind. Sometimes when you take on a search you never know what you are stepping into... A female adoptee "Susie" was born in a southern state around 1965 had non-identifying information that included the comment her own birthmother had been adopted at birth as well. The adoptee did not have her birthmothers name but we eventually obtained this and located her. "Linda" who was born in 1946 was very happy to have been found but of course wanted to know who and where her own birthmother was. She had her birthname but no birthmothers name but knew her birthmother was born in 1928. Got her birthmothers name however we could not find anyone by this name. Tried marriages, deaths, city directories, phone books, high schools. But we eventually found a birth record for her and this yielded enough to find a birth record for her own mother. So it's onwards to the greatgrandmother of our first client. This woman was born in 1905 and named "Daisy" Since this search was done around 1995 she would almost be 90! We found a marriage record for her and an obituary for her husband which said they had 8 children. Called the number for her eldest son and asked about grandmother "Daisy". We had not been able to locate a death or obit on her. Surprised were we when the woman on the phone replied we were speaking too the one and only her - Miss Daisy! Normally we do not make phone contact unless extremely necessary and this was a rare incident. When asked about her daughter "June" she responded with the fact that she did not have a daughter "June". After a brief conversation she paused and gulped and asked if we knew how "June" was that she had placed HER for adoption as an infant. Let's see now we have the adoptee with her birthmother found and now the birthmother's grandmother found but the missing link is still out there somewhere. They all want to get together now but we are short one person in the chain. So at least we know she exists. The adoptee and her birthmother and of course "June's" mother want to know where she is. Remembering that we had information from "Linda's" birth record which had mentioned a birthfather of "John Smith". Ok so we tracked him down and he had a faulty memory and could not remember ever dating or seeing a woman named June. All he could recall was as a soldier he had seen a girl named STELLA who lived with her mother in an upstairs apartment over a bakery. He said her name was "Stella Loomis". She had told him she had become pregnant by him but he did not believe her and with the war he had decided to leave. So we thought is it Stella after all? Tracked her down and Stella had the same birthdate and birthplace as our missing "June". Turns out June was placed by her mother for adoption as an infant through an orphanage which had a bad habit for not formalizing adoptions but leaving the children with families who would change the children's names to theirs. So June/Stella was found after all. FOUR generations of adoptee-birthmothers. 90 year old great grandmother Miss Daisy, her daughter June/Stella, then her daughter Linda and of course our original client "Susie" who had no idea what she was getting into when she started her own search. The domino effect that would trigger two others searches as well.

Who says they can't be found?

Our agency has been able to locate most everyone we have ever been hired to locate. Not all but most. Searches have involved all states, Puerto Rico as well as Canada. Birthmother's who cannot recall the date of birth. Adoptees who have no name for their birthparent. Siblings who are not quite sure of the sex of the child. Informing ones that they have a right to non-identifying information concerning their adoption or child's placement. Especially when they don't even know what non-identifying information is.

Letting them know that MOST adoption registeries free or not are passive and require the consent and continuous update from both parties and if one predeceases the other or the match they will never be connected. Most registries have serious flaws. Letting people know that careless or misinformed workers give out incorrect information in their agency reports of non-identifying information. Case in point from an agency in Connecticut stating "Your birthmother was 21 years old". We completed the search and found the birthmother was 35 years old at the time of the birth but the consent she had signed for the adoption stated Miss Mary Jones who is over the age of 21 years old.

Consider New York a state that for years allowed a mother to enter a hospital under a fake name and for her child's adoption record to carry this surname. The birth record could have a totally fake name for her and even a fake birthplace or address for the mother. In most instances the agency knew her real name but all other records, hospital, baptismal, birth certificate would carry erroneous information.

Adoptees birthplaces can and could be legally changed in many states as well as their date of birth. The date of birth being changed I will admit though is more uncommon than the place of birth being changed but it is still worth mentioning.

KI:)