When a Rose is Just a Rose!

Nice to visit the old crypt after all these months. Notice a few cobwebs here and there but thankfully no hidden bodies. Reminds me that we need to hire a new cleaning service and keep a good bail bondsman on speed dial just in case. Wondering where we have been all this time? Well I am sure you have as anyone reading this must have had very little social activity and been waiting eagerly with baited breath for the next story. This one is called When a Rose is Just a Rose! A great deal of adoptees fantasize that their "real" mother or birth mother or natural mother, bio mom is more than human. She takes on a mystique that eventually if located would make the reality pale in comparison. Perhaps one thinks they were conceived while their parent was escaping a South American overthrow or was fleeing the revolution in Russia or maybe they are the long lost offspring of Colonel Sanders. Who knows? Well I guess that inheiritance would be finger licking good, no? Our story about Rose (not her real name) originates in the ficticious city of Chicago in the state of "Illinois". Story has it that Rose was a good catholic girl who had been born and reared in a midwest state but not Illinois. She was supposedly a nurse in her early 30's and never married. A post WW2 romance with a lover who was married or had married culminated in an unplanned pregnancy leaving Rose without a husband. Arrangements were made by a priest to send her to a maternity home in Chicago through Catholic Charities. It's really unclear whether Rose ever went to the home or her stay was short lived as she was eventually placed with a private family and called "Rose Bush". The identity of the birthfather was never shared with the agency who knew very little about her and unfortunately their own records through the years have either been purged, diminished, burnt, flooded, discarded or just plain thrown out. There exists no file on Rose Bush or her daughter. Except for the file on the adoptive family which lists a paragraph or two on the bio mother. ONE small clue that Rose's father had been killed in an accident when she was 10 years old. Last but not least the original birth certificate which lists Catholic Charities as Rose's legal address also gave the place of birth for Rose which was a very small city in another midwestern state. Next checking the 1920 and 1930 census for the United States inparticular her state of birth and Illinois (Chicago too) turned up no appropriate Rose Bush or any connection with a Bush that would have led us to believe this was her real name. We did however notice the county of Rose's birth was Bushman County - coincedence? Going to her city of birth - Lupners Corners we located the small catholic parish which originated as a mission and combing baptisms for Rose's 1913-1918 turned up only two. One for a Rose Dickinson whose parents died when she was in her 50's and a Rose Helen Lattimore. Rose Lattimore had 5 other siblings baptized at the same parish. On the 1930 US census her mother was listed as a widow. Revisiting the catholic church once more unearthed a record of death for Rose's father James Lattimore who died when she was exactly 10 years old and that he had been killed in an accident while at work. Checking further records located a death for her mother in 1975 and those for siblings. It was later determined that Rose had never married and had lived in Chicago for years as a nurse and was now retired in Texas at the age of 94! Once her daughter received the completed information on her case she made telephone contact shortly thereafter and was received warmly with open arms by the mother she had never known. It turns out that she had a love affair with her daughter's father but he was married and she appeared to still be in love with him and speak fondly of him. He was unfortunately killed many years ago. She hopes to meet her birthmother soon.

Florence Crittenton was not a BIRTHMOTHER!

Many people have heard the name Florence Crittenton. They tend to sometimes confuse her with Florence Nightengale or perhaps think she had some association with the Salvation Army. In reality Charles Nelson Crittenton was an American Philanthropist who was involved with pharmaceuticals. When his FIVE year old daughter Florence died in 1882 he devoted his time to the founding of a home for young women in distress. Clearly Florence did not die in childbirth at age 5. So this was the beginning of what turned into a network of Florence Crittenton Homes throughout the United States. Primarily from the 1930's through the 1970's these homes thrived and were overflowing with girls from all ages, pre-teen to pre-menopausal. In the early years and the not so early years many births were onsite. Due to health ordinances and litigations births were eventually at local area hospitals. Most girls or women in the Florence Crittenton Home were simply known by their first name or a house name. They had chores, school time, club association, exercise and so on. In some communities they were allowed to venture out every so often in public and were given wedding rings to wear so that the public would not question their status. Oddly enough many of these home were in old mansions and somewhat secluded. When questioned years later in many localities residents were totally unaware that the OLD HOME off the lane was a maternity shelter for unwed mothers. Throughtout the 30-40-50-60's most children were placed for adoption. Many women used an alias at the home and perhaps the hospital with some localities carrying this practise over even to the official birth certificate. However by the onset of the 1970's with the stigma of illegitimacy gone and legalized abortion available the needs and functions of these homes shifted to goal orientation for education and developmental placement for young women and helping them adjust to their new role in single parenthood.

Driving Miss Daisy or searching for her?

Interesting search we completed years ago comes to mind. Sometimes when you take on a search you never know what you are stepping into... A female adoptee "Susie" was born in a southern state around 1965 had non-identifying information that included the comment her own birthmother had been adopted at birth as well. The adoptee did not have her birthmothers name but we eventually obtained this and located her. "Linda" who was born in 1946 was very happy to have been found but of course wanted to know who and where her own birthmother was. She had her birthname but no birthmothers name but knew her birthmother was born in 1928. Got her birthmothers name however we could not find anyone by this name. Tried marriages, deaths, city directories, phone books, high schools. But we eventually found a birth record for her and this yielded enough to find a birth record for her own mother. So it's onwards to the greatgrandmother of our first client. This woman was born in 1905 and named "Daisy" Since this search was done around 1995 she would almost be 90! We found a marriage record for her and an obituary for her husband which said they had 8 children. Called the number for her eldest son and asked about grandmother "Daisy". We had not been able to locate a death or obit on her. Surprised were we when the woman on the phone replied we were speaking too the one and only her - Miss Daisy! Normally we do not make phone contact unless extremely necessary and this was a rare incident. When asked about her daughter "June" she responded with the fact that she did not have a daughter "June". After a brief conversation she paused and gulped and asked if we knew how "June" was that she had placed HER for adoption as an infant. Let's see now we have the adoptee with her birthmother found and now the birthmother's grandmother found but the missing link is still out there somewhere. They all want to get together now but we are short one person in the chain. So at least we know she exists. The adoptee and her birthmother and of course "June's" mother want to know where she is. Remembering that we had information from "Linda's" birth record which had mentioned a birthfather of "John Smith". Ok so we tracked him down and he had a faulty memory and could not remember ever dating or seeing a woman named June. All he could recall was as a soldier he had seen a girl named STELLA who lived with her mother in an upstairs apartment over a bakery. He said her name was "Stella Loomis". She had told him she had become pregnant by him but he did not believe her and with the war he had decided to leave. So we thought is it Stella after all? Tracked her down and Stella had the same birthdate and birthplace as our missing "June". Turns out June was placed by her mother for adoption as an infant through an orphanage which had a bad habit for not formalizing adoptions but leaving the children with families who would change the children's names to theirs. So June/Stella was found after all. FOUR generations of adoptee-birthmothers. 90 year old great grandmother Miss Daisy, her daughter June/Stella, then her daughter Linda and of course our original client "Susie" who had no idea what she was getting into when she started her own search. The domino effect that would trigger two others searches as well.

Who says they can't be found?

Our agency has been able to locate most everyone we have ever been hired to locate. Not all but most. Searches have involved all states, Puerto Rico as well as Canada. Birthmother's who cannot recall the date of birth. Adoptees who have no name for their birthparent. Siblings who are not quite sure of the sex of the child. Informing ones that they have a right to non-identifying information concerning their adoption or child's placement. Especially when they don't even know what non-identifying information is.

Letting them know that MOST adoption registeries free or not are passive and require the consent and continuous update from both parties and if one predeceases the other or the match they will never be connected. Most registries have serious flaws. Letting people know that careless or misinformed workers give out incorrect information in their agency reports of non-identifying information. Case in point from an agency in Connecticut stating "Your birthmother was 21 years old". We completed the search and found the birthmother was 35 years old at the time of the birth but the consent she had signed for the adoption stated Miss Mary Jones who is over the age of 21 years old.

Consider New York a state that for years allowed a mother to enter a hospital under a fake name and for her child's adoption record to carry this surname. The birth record could have a totally fake name for her and even a fake birthplace or address for the mother. In most instances the agency knew her real name but all other records, hospital, baptismal, birth certificate would carry erroneous information.

Adoptees birthplaces can and could be legally changed in many states as well as their date of birth. The date of birth being changed I will admit though is more uncommon than the place of birth being changed but it is still worth mentioning.

KI:)